Friday, September 29, 2006

Yard Sale

Can you read this sign?

So this afternoon, a strange van pulls all the way up my very long driveway and a man steps out of his vehicle, spits on my driveway (apparently not realizing I was standing there), and says

"You got any *garble garble*?"

Me (one ear on a phonecall): "I'm sorry?"

Creepy van-guy: "Dee-Vee-Dees, you gonna have any?"

Me: "Yes, we will have DVDs for sale

Creepy van-guy: "How many?"

Me: "I don't know, 10 or 20?"

Creepy van-guy: "How much are they?"

Me: "I don't know, we haven't priced them yet but you are welcome to stop by

Creepy van-guy: "You got any kids' ones?"

Me (mentally pulling Shrek and Monsters, Inc. out of the yard sale pile): "No."

Creepy van-guy: "And you don't know how much?"

Me: "No, but we will know by...tomorrow."

Creepy van-guy: "See, I got six kids and I don't want to come back if they are too high."

Me (thinking, if you have six kids, the youngest one is probably forty): silence

Creepy van-guy: "So what time's it start?"

Me (verbally): "Eight o'clock, see you then!"

Me (mentally): "SATURDAY EIGHT O'CLOCK, in the yard, just like it says on the sign, not noon on Friday at my back door, you creepy ass&@#$!"

P.S. Here is a shout-out to Selina for her fabulous artwork on the sign pictured above and the reverse side pictured below. The story goes that she nearly passed out from the Sharpie fumes!

1 comment:

Dave A. - VerizonBusiness abductee said...

Individuals that frequent yard sales are a very interesting sub-culture. The last time we had one (8am on a saturday) the trekkies were lined up outside my garage door at 6:30am. I think some actually think they are going to find the holy grail.

Good luck out west you two! Get a haircut Jon, you hippee!